Sober
by livinginsidemyhead
Summary: Songfic to Kelly Clarkson's "Sober" -- It had been three months... M


My first F29DWN fanfic. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors. I am not so good at writing, so I am muy muy sorry. But anyways, the song is Sober by Kelly Clarkson. I was listening to it and felt the need to write this.

Disclaimer: I own nada.

_And I don't know__  
__This could break my heart or save me  
__Nothing's real  
__Until you let go completely_

It had been three months. Three months since the word goodbye left her heart permanently shattered. Melissa kept a box full of his stuff. She still held onto it, onto them. Still couldn't let go.

___So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving  
__So here I go with all my fears weighing on me_

She reached down for the little Crush plush that she had won for him at the county fair. The one she insisted on winning for him because he had won so many stuffed animals for her. Because she said that girls could be just as chivalrous as guys. Even though she spent fifty bucks shooting at floating ducks trying to get it for him, that only made it all the more special.

**--Flashback--**

"Come on Jackson. It's my turn to win you something. Just one thing before we go. Girls can be just as chivalrous as guys ya know. You just gotta give them to chance to be. Like remember when I let you go first when we went on that Halloween ride thingy?" she said, flashing him a smile.

"Oh yeah, sure. You mean the ride you were too scared to go on so you let me test it out first? Yeah I remember. You were quite the gentlemen," Jackson replied teasingly, laughing.

She gave him a sarcastic smirk, "Ha ha. Very funny." She turned her attention back to the game and pointed at one of the prizes. "How about cute little Crush right there? I know how much you _love_ that movie," she said to him with a cute playful smirk on her face. He had loved the movie Finding Nemo, but of course would never openly admit it to anyone, well except to Melissa.

"Shh," he said, lifting a finger to his lips, "People might hear." She rolled her eyes and chuckled, playfully elbowing him in the side.

"Ow," Jackson replied, feigning hurt. "Is that how you would treat a lady?" he asked her jokingly. Melissa rolled her eyes again and laughed. She couldn't come up with a sly enough response on the spot so she returned her attention to the game. She pulled up her sleeves and clutched the gun tightly, staring ahead in focus. "Ready to kill some ducks," she said, taking aim. Jackson cheered her on as she began to shoot feverishly at the yellow plastic ducks rolling by.

When she finally maimed enough ducks to retrieve her prize, she proudly handed it over to Jackson, giving a slight bow as she presented it to him. "Here you go milady."

"Aww, you shouldn't have," he playfully responded. He took the prize from her hand and suddenly launched into his Crush impersonation. "Oh, I saw the whole thing, dude! First, you were like, whoa! And then we were like, WHOA! And then you were like, whoa!"

Melissa busted out laughing, her eyes crinkling at the corners. Jackson laughed in response and reveled in the sound of her laughter. He pulled her into his tight embrace and whispered, "You have such a beautiful laugh Melissa Wu." And with that he pressed his soft lips against hers, pulling her tighter into his body, both of them unaware of the world of faces floating on by around them.

**--End Flashback--**

_Three months and I'm still sober__  
__Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers__  
__But I know it's never really over_

She quietly chuckled at the memory and could still hear Jackson's Crush impersonation in her head. She then sadly smiled at the thought that Jackson knew that it would always make her laugh, whether it be if she was angry or sad. But being Jackson, he would still try to find the most random times to recite the quote.

_And I don't know__  
__I could crash and burn but maybe__  
__At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me__  
__So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right__  
__No comparing, second guessing, no not this time_

She put down the plush and picked up his jacket. She clung tightly to it as she inhaled its scent, letting the smell linger in her nose. It was the same jacket he wore when he had kissed her that one night in the rain. A night so long ago but a memory so near that she feels its fingers prick her mind, creeping in and pressing play.

**--Flashback--**

They sat there on the soft sandy shore, their gaze directed at the night sky. The moon hung high in the sky illuminating the dark waves that crashed into the shore. The stars lingered nearby, accompanying specks to the beautiful view. The clouds drifted by closely and threatened to envelope the stunning sight.

Melissa shivered as the wind caressed her skin. Jackson witnessed this and took off his jacket, placing it over her. "Here. Looks like you need this more than I do."

She put on his jacket feeling tiny in it. She smiled at him and leaned slowly into his body while he put his arms around her, rubbing her arm in an effort to keep her warm.

"Wow. I don't think I've ever seen the stars like this before," said Melissa, directing her stare back up at the sky.

"Yeah. It's really beautiful," he said, turning his head slowly to look at her while she continued to gaze up. He inhaled slowly, taking in the scene before him. The silence between them was suddenly breached when he opened up his mouth and sang softly to her, "Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. And everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow."

She turned her view from the heavens and smiled at him, the stars now shining in his eyes. Her eyes bored into his, then traveled slowly down to his mouth. She grazed her fingertips against his lips and opened her mouth, singing in a whisper, "I came along. I wrote a song for you. And all the things you do. And it was called yellow."

They gazed longingly at each other, neither breaking away. As their bodies both slightly tugged forward the sky opened up and began to rain down on the two. Melissa suddenly pulled away from Jackson and looked up into the sky, rain falling into her eyes.

"Ah! What's up with the weather? One minute the beautiful stars, now rain? Come on hurry Jackson, let's get to the car before we're soaked!" she yelled, getting up quickly.

But Jackson just sat there with his hands digging into the sand and smiled up at her.

"Make me," he said, with challenge in his eyes.

Melissa stood there with incredulity plastered on her face.

"What?!" she screamed through the hard rain.

"Make me," Jackson reiterated, a coy grin spreading across his face.

She looked at him with an incredulous smirk and said, "Jackson, you do realize that it's raining and that we're getting soaked right?"

Melissa didn't wait for his response but reached down to grab his hand to pull him up. Before she could reach his hand he pulled her into his body and kissed her fervidly. She was caught off guard by his stolen kiss but gave into him, both of them melting into each other.

When they finally pulled away from each other Jackson looked deeply into her eyes and continued to sing, "You know I love you so." Melissa returned his gaze and echoed the lyric, "You know I love you so."

Their lips found its way to each other again as they passionately kissed, unaware of the rain trying to sneak its way into their kiss.

When Melissa's lungs screamed for air, she pulled away from Jackson. She looked up into the rain and smiled back down at him. "I always wanted to be kissed in the rain," she said.

"Yeah me too. Except this didn't count because you seduced me into it," Jackson said, chuckling.

Melissa's mouth widened in a surprised grin as she chuckled loudly, "I seduced you? If anything, you seduced me!"

"What?" Jackson said teasingly. "It's true. You took advantage of my innocent naivete."

"Oh you wished," Melissa replied. She then quickly grabbed for the car keys in his pocket and jumped up.

"Well, let's see if poor and innocent Jackson can get home without his precious car," she said jokingly, making a dash for it.

Jackson bolted up and chased after Melissa. When he finally caught up to her he twirled her around and crashed into her lips, cradling the back of her neck with his hand. She fused her body into his as her arms slowly reached up and looped around his neck.

And they stood there kissing in the rain, becoming one with it.

**--End flashback--**

_Three months and I'm still breathing__  
__Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know__  
__It's never really over, no_

_Wake up_

Melissa let out a deep heavy sigh, letting the air from her mouth escape slowly as if to remind her that she was still alive. That she was still breathing.

_Three months and I'm still standing here__  
__Three months and I'm getting better yeah__  
__Three months and I still am_

_Three months and it's still harder now__  
__Three months I've been living here without you now__  
__Three months yeah, three months_

But her breath caught in her throat as slow sobs began to shake her body. Tears streamed violently down her face as she fell to the floor still clutching tightly onto his jacket. She had gone three months without acknowledging the fact that he was now gone. Three months without tears. And now she cleansed herself with them. She allowed the water to flow freely from her eyes.

_Three months and I'm still breathing__  
__Three months and I still remember it__  
__Three months and I wake up_

She continued to cry, letting her tears stain the carpet. And she cried. She cried for hours, until she couldn't cry anymore. She breathed in deeply and wiped her face, leaving the back of her hands wet with her salty teardrops. She turned onto her back and faced the ceiling, pretending she could see through it into the sky. She gawked at it and marveled at its perpetuity.

_Three months and I'm still sober__  
__Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers_

Melissa slowly got up and looked down at the contents inside the box. Stuff she had kept of his, stuff he had given her, stuff that reminded her of him. It was just stuff. Just stuff.

She retrieved his jacket from off the floor and placed it back inside the box. Giving the contents one last glance, she closed the lid and then picked it up. Heading outside towards the trash can Melissa looked straight ahead, unwavering in her soft but firm steps. She paused for a quiet moment when she reached her destination and lifted up the lid. She let go of the box and watched as it crashed to the bottom, mimicking the hard thud she felt in her heart at that exact moment.

Melissa closed the lid and let out a quiet sigh. She shut her eyes and softly whispered into the still air, "Goodbye Jackson."

Yeah so the fic was pretty fluffy when it came to the flashbacks but the anguish and pain Melissa felt kinda quashed that don't you think? hah. And oh, I was tempted to write a happy ending because I love fluffy happy endings, especially one with Jackson and Melissa. You know the typical cliche ending where the boy realizes his mistakes, eventually shows up at her door, confesses his undying love to her and they both live happily ever after? Yeah that one. But then I am reminded that not all relationships end with a fairy tale happy ending, so yeah this is the result. Although this ending was somewhat bittersweet because she was finally able to let him go. so yeah...okay I talk too much. Sorry.


End file.
